Reasonable ones, in my opinion.Įnthusiastic about going down on me, but not creepy about it. That might be because I haven’t checked any of the online profiles she set up for me last summer. I read a DIY sex thing on the internet, how to turn that into a ball gag. I’ve got all my Christmas presents taken care of. Especially when you’re distracted by the new delivery driver who’s been assigned to your route, and now most of your creative energy is being diverted to X-rated fantasies. But sometimes it’s really hard to come up with thirty unique and amazing sentiments for a new card line. Inspirational journals, coffee mugs.Īnd I love my job. Then one of my design series really took off, and thanks to having a decent agent who negotiated that extended related work also be done by me, I’ve now got a couple of product lines. I started as an assistant right out of college, and won an internal competition to become an illustrator two years later. I work for a major greeting card company. Oh, I’ll be in New York to meet with the creative team in a couple of weeks. Work is not going well at all, but I don’t want to talk about it. She’s just with us until we find her a forever home, and that’s okay. I pull out my phone and show her that picture, and a few others. Larken is taking a while to warm to her, but the cat sitter texted me a picture of them sharing the cat condo earlier. She’s fit in really well with Trick and Jared. I bite my tongue, because Nina will do whatever she wants. Maybe I need to find some hunky farmer to marry and make babies with. I ignore the expectant look on her face and try to change the subject back to Nina. She joins me on the couch and scoops up some taco dip. Turkey’s basted for the last time, and it’ll be done in thirty minutes. ![]() I’ve got dirty fantasies of my own, so I can hardly be pointing fingers.ĭaisy bursts into the living room from the kitchen, where she was doing something to the turkey. And I really wouldn’t be protesting if he threw me over his shoulder and carried me off to his pile of furs to ravish me. One in particular, who we agree is definitely packing something good, and she gets a goofy look on her face every time the camera pans past his crotch.Ĭlearly the cameraman thinks he’s hung, too. We’re mostly watching because of the butts, and we’re placing bets on which of them have donkey dicks. So Nina’s driven down from New York, and I took the train up from Baltimore, and we’re camped out in Daisy’s living room with a bowl of taco dip and a football game on the television. We’re going to have to do that in another month anyway. Chapter Twoįor the third year in a row, my besties and I have decided to skip spending a small fortune on flying home and spending an awkward few days with family members we don’t always like. So it’s really my own fault that he’s at the front door of my building, punching in the entry code he’s now memorized. He gave me a funny look and admitted it wasn’t, but he didn’t elaborate and that was already further out of my comfort zone than I ever wanted to go.īut Not Dane was on my mind when I headed to Philly for our annual Not Family Thanksgiving, and after drinking half a bottle of red wine, I told my friends all about him. He has a name tag-Dane-but last week, before Thanksgiving, I opened my big mouth and asked him if that was his real name. I’m totally going to use the personal massager that arrived yesterday-package number eleven-and do unspeakable things as I fantasize about the delivery guy who has visited my house almost a dozen times in the last two weeks. This is not going to be like a bad porno where the lady of the house invites the pizza guy and all of a sudden he’s banging her on the counter.īut that’s how it’ll go down in my head after he leaves. And I’m average and not one to behave inappropriately toward someone while they’re working. I mean, it’ll all be completely in my head, because he’s hot and just doing his job. I’m all hot and bothered for the new delivery guy, and that’s…intense. He won’t even be thinking about that, I tell myself. ![]() This is a good place to be when he knocks-it’s a decent distance from the door, so it’ll take me enough time to get there that he won’t know I know he’s already here. I scramble off the couch and pace into the kitchen. Not only do I recognize it, but my heartbeat picks up and I get flushed when I hear the low growl cutting out, followed by the clank of metal as he pulls up the back door to grab my package… I now recognize the sound of his truck turning off in front of my building.
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